Sometimes, in life, you can't help the hand you've been dealt. I always try to appreciate every one and every instance in my life. I see every situation as a new opportunity.
But sometimes things just suck. Regardless of how good things could get from that point, or the road you decide to take, there's going to be pros and cons.
I think moving away was the best thing for me. It was a hugely dramatic step in my life because I had never lived on my own, much less an entire state and a half from most people I know. However, it has been this step that has allowed me to separate myself from what everyone else wants of me. From all the expectations that other people had of me. It has given me space to discover myself creatively, to expand and develop my experiences, and it has given me the ability to observe my relationships with the people around me: family, friends, etc.
All the same, it hasn't been a golden road. Quite the contrary, in fact. Things have been rough and I know it is a result of the choices I have made and the roads I have chosen to take. I feel more stressed and overwhelmed than I ever have, yet more focused and ambitious to continue on the path I've chosen.
We are once again at a turning point within our lives. When you hear the phrase "The first year is the hardest." they weren't kidding. It's taken determination, cooperation, juggling, balancing, learning, and we still have quite a ways to go. Jobs to get, money to save, moving to do. We have such a long ways to go, but I know we will get there. And once we do we will be even more motivated to take the next steps in our life because we did it for ourselves.
What matters to me most is that I'm happy doing it. I wouldn't change this path if I had the chance, It's just taking some work to improve our lives.
